“HELLO?” calls a man through the screen door. “I’M RESPECTING THE DO NOT KNOCK SIGN!”

A man, woman & baby want to talk about God. They have tracts.

“Smart arse” I say as I slam the door in their cheery little faces.

So I made a new door sign, and now you can have one too!

By interacting with this door, you agree to the following:

By knocking on or calling through or using any other means to cause sound and/or vibration to pass through this door in such a way that is intentionally detectable by the occupant(s) of the property attached to the door in order to alert them to your presence, you agree thereby to the following:


  1. I am personally known to the occupant or the occupant is expecting me by prior arrangement such as to complete a delivery of food or other product or parcel, etc., or
  2. I am lost or in danger and am seeking assistance or refuge.
  3. I am not a religious zealot1 wishing to impart to the occupant either verbally or by printed material any information relating to my belief system.
  4. I am not a political zealot2 wishing to impart to the occupant either verbally or by printed material any information relating to my political belief.
  5. I am not acting as a representative of any company3 which provides or claims to provide a service4 or product5 the occupant may either already have possibly via a different company or may not have either by informed choice or ignorance for the purpose of trying to persuade the occupant to sign any agreement or in any other way commit to any kind of contract or casual purchase.
  6. I am not acting as a representative of any registered or unregistered charity6 or other organisation wishing to extract either monies or a commitment for action or inaction of any kind from the occupant.
  7. I understand that failing to comply with the conditions will almost certainly result in verbal abuse of a possibly graphic and offensive nature.

(1) Religious zealot: Possessing a belief in anything at all to the degree that you feel entitled to disturb strangers in their homes to share information related to this belief with them under the assumption that this may be of benefit to them or warn them of impending doom should they not in some way modify their own beliefs.

(2) Political zealot: Being in any way associated with or acting in the interests of or against any registered or unregistered political party or politically motivated individual in order to expand awareness of a political party or individual or cause.

(3) Company: Any organisation or affiliation created or considered either legally or otherwise that intends, or wishes to affect an intention, to provide any goods or services to anyone or anything.

(4) Service: Any act or function provided or proposed that will in any way cause or not cause anything specified or unspecified to occur, not occur, arrive, not arrive or any other appropriate verb.

(5) Product: Anything that exists or theoretically could be caused to exist in any dimension.

(6) Charity: Any organisation or individual which performs or professes to perform any action or raising of funds for any individual or group of people or concept or thing be it animal or vegetable or mineral in nature.

© 2014 DEREK ARMSDEN DESIGN www.dadesign.net.au

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